Posted by: nicktambo92 | January 17, 2013

A Whole World of Difference

I will never fully understand women. Women will never understand men. At the end of the semester, after all the discussions and readings and disagreements and glimpses into the women perspective I still will not understand women. That is why this class will be the most interesting I have taken thus far in college. Even though probably nothing will be cleared up (I will still be a man after this class and the bewildering unanswerable things women do on a daily basis will still cause a sigh coupled with a what the f***), the opportunity to get a glimpse on how women see themselves compared to men is once in a lifetime. In my experiences, it is apparent that outside this specific class environment, a woman will never express how they feel compared to men outright. They may talk about it among themselves, but when they are around guys (sorry I am generalizing simply because I cannot think about a situation where this did not occur), the status quo does not involve an outright cry for equality. Communication is instead laced with suggestive undertones, overall tones (that’s a big one that confounds any guy), and non-verbal cues. This leaves men in intriguing wonder (trust me the equation for attractiveness involves being mysterious) while they also try to figure what the hell they meant. This class then will be one of the only chances I get to crack the lid and peer into the underworld of how women think about themselves and how they think of themselves compared to men. This is invaluable, but guaranteed to be strangely unsatisfying at the end; once the last class ends I will walk out and a woman will still do or say something that leaves me in fruitless ponder.

One other thing; I know this class is not trying to stereotype in light of the obvious disparity between men and women, but it will not be possible. Male specific questions will come up, and naturally heads will turn to hint that one of us should be the ones to answer it. It is inevitable. We have separate genitalia, separate tendencies, separate looks, separate mannerisms, and separate views on the aspects of daily living that is directly impacted by being male. Therefore, I hope, and would welcome, questions requiring a male perspective to be directed at one of us 4 so that we will answer it even if a hand was not raised. It is not healthy to ignore the differences. When a male perspective is needed, a woman should not answer it just because the class culture is too ignore the obvious. Just like how I cannot put myself in a woman’s shoes, a woman cannot slip hers in mine; no matter how much you say you understand or think you understand, you don’t. I am sorry, but you do not wake up with massive amounts of hair coming out your armpit (or I hope not) and you do not think the same way we do because you were not raised and nurtured to be a man. Those type of questions initially should be reserved for the men in the class (after we answer feel free to give your point of view) because we are the only ones suitable to answer.

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Responses

  1. I honestly can say that I really enjoyed reading your comment! I agree with you in the fact that women and men are very different in a variety of ways and I don’t think that we should pretend otherwise. Men have their own outlook on situations just as women do. I think that this class is going to be beneficial for all of us mainly becasue it will allow for the men to learn a little more about women and vice versa. Obviously women and men will never be able to step into the shoes of the other sex and fully understand their ways of doing things or why they think a certain way. I think that is truely what is so special though about each and every one of us! All of us have a unique way of thinking and being able to express that to others will help our communities grow more and more. Also, you mentioned that “Male specific questions will come up, and naturally heads will turn to hint that one of us should be the ones to answer it. It is inevitable..Therefore, I hope, and would welcome, questions requiring a male perspective to be directed at one of us 4 so that we will answer it even if a hand was not raised. ” I think this was a great concept that you mentioned becasue you, being one of the selct few men in our class, are better able to answer questions that the women wouldn’t be able to understand from the male point of view. This I think will allow the class to be more comfortable to ask questions knowing that everyone will contribute from both sides.

  2. So at first I read this and I completely disagreed now I have contemplated it I believe thoroughly and I still don’t agree. Just because a woman is female and a man is male does not mean we can’t understand each other’s points of view. We are all human and have a basic connection simply by that fact alone and I don’t think we should ignore the fact that we are similar. I like to shoot guns and play video games, I have more guy friends than I do female and most girls I know are the same way. The only reason I may not be able to fully understand you or anyone else for that matter is simply due to differences in opinion, these not being based on gender but instead the environment in which we grow up. Our experiences develop who we are and we should not be defined by gender or sex. Those who give life to the stereotype that a female should love pink, bake cookies, and clean the house all day do so because it is within their upbringing and personal experience that these actions either bring them happiness or attention. As for answering questions, I am certainly not going to wait for a male to answer a question then give my own opinion if I have something to say. No one should be forced to wait or made to feel as though they are not as important simply because someone else feels it is a gender based question.This class should eventually show that women can do everything a man can if they truly want to and vice versa. And I think your remark about the questions, ” When a male perspective is needed, a woman should not answer it” only perpetuates the idea that a man’s idea comes first and women’s second.


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