Posted by: mobelch | January 19, 2016

Bad Cop, Bad Cop

I’m the music director of one of our a cappella groups on campus, and one of my best friends is our president. She’s currently in rehearsals for TheatreCNU’s next mainstage production, though, so she won’t be able to come to our rehearsals until the end of February. When she is able to come, we run rehearsal together. Because of our personalities, I tend to be louder, tougher on everyone, and more blunt. She’s more soft-spoken, and even though she often has to intervene and tell people what to do, she’s typically seen as the sweet one, and I’m seen as the one you don’t want to cross. Good cop, bad cop. But the problem is that when she’s gone, there’s no “good cop” to be found. Just me.

Since she’s been absent from our rehearsals, I’ve noticed myself attempting to hold back from my normal way of leading, trying to fill the roles of both the good and bad cops at the same time. After last night’s rehearsal, I finally asked myself, “why?” And I didn’t have an answer. We’re an all-female a cappella group, so why am I scared of being a strong woman and taking charge?  I’m so worried about coming off like the  worst cop ever that rehearsals become less and less productive as I hold back more and more. The stigmas that we place on women leaders are so ingrained in our culture that even us women believe them to be true. I am so interested to learn about the women who were strong and aggressive enough to become leaders and first get these stereotypes attributed to them. Being an assertive woman is not a bad thing, and in my opinion, these traits would instead be celebrated in a man.

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